Friday, February 6, 2009

Vertical Credits

You've all heard of carbon credits. Anything global warming these days seems to be all the rage. I view these concepts with a healthy dose of suspicion. Global warming is rife with global fleecing in my opinion. But the Hill Junkie blog avoids going into geo-political rants.

Some of you may be familiar with the medieval period of Christianity where indulgences were paid. In short, the clergy accumulated excess of good works. For a fee, you could have your misdeeds wiped clean by buying some of the clergy's excess. There are many similarities in the rising carbon credits system. Essentially you can buy a right to pollute, or at least if you are a polluter, buy credits that somehow magically diminish your carbon footprint. In a sense, you can appease your conscience and improve your image in the global community. Same with sinners in the midieval times.

I would like to propose a another system of credits. It will be called Vertical Credits. You see, there are a lot of cyclists out there, mostly of the off-road sort, that frequent lift assisted establishments. Lots of vertical is taken (misdeeds) without earning it by powering one's self to the top (good works). Well, Hill Junkie has accumulated an excess of earned vertical over the years. Mt Washington and Mt Equinox have put a lot of earned vertical in the bank. Cyclists are not allowed to ride their bikes back down these mountains. The two together accumulate about 13,000ft per year of vertical credits (including Washington practice climb). I figure I have about 80,000ft of credit. So how about all you gravity junkies out there. Does your conscience bother you? For only $1 per 100ft paid to Hill Junkie, you can erase your misdeeds. You will feel much better about yourself again. I will continue to ride up mountains so that you can continue in your sinful ways. Just keep the cash flowing.


Anonymous said...

If I can use the purchased credits to get up the Lincoln Gap, please send me $10 worth :)


Anonymous said...

On friday I used a high-speed detachable anti-gravity lift to ski 32,500 feet of vertical. I could use up your credits pretty quick!


Dave said...

But, my misguided son, what good deep hath thou done today???
Good deeds are like the morning dew and burn off each day with the sun. Please, let me help you. I did 7300 good deeds today and can spare you a few for the same measure you mete.