Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Trail News

Merrimack, NH - Authorities are seeking help in identifying a trail terrorist spotted on Tuesday afternoon in Horse Hill Nature Preserve. This individual was observed riding a bicycle with skinny tires on unpacked snow, leaving marks up to 1" deep in the snow.

The terrorist attempted to blend in by wearing local cycling club clothing

Authorities are warning the public to not approach or attempt to apprehend this individual. He or she appears to be from a dangerous terrorist cell that was believed wiped out many years ago, a cell referred to as "The 26ers." The 26ers have a ruthless reputation for mass destruction of untouched snow by riding bicycles with small diameter wheels and skinny tires on the snow.

The damage was extensive.

Considerable lengths of trail were destroyed by this terrorist, ruining  experiences for all trail users for at least 3 or 4 days. Authorities are collecting evidence at the crime scene and have begun a systematic search of social media sites the terrorist may use to post his exploits to taunt authorities. Please contact your local trail enforcement authorities with any information you may have about this individual.


Keagan Dog said...

I pulled out my ultimate terror machine today. A fully rigid 26er with studded tires. Oh the humanity...

Anonymous said...

That post on facebook was kinda comical. Someone rides in the slush and it freezes and leaves a rut so some guy climbs up on his soapbox and preaches. Last time I checked trails are multi use - I own a fatbike but I don't expect anyone to avoid trails so I don't have to ride over a few ruts. If you are ever up for a long ride 4-6 + hrs on the ridges in the pioneer valley let me know - maybe early May or so.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Let's GET HIM!!!

Great post!


the bully said...

2" rutts, that's nothing compared to the 4" rutts we made last Sunday in the slush.